Never Forgotten Guilt
by boobookittybone
Summary: Making good on his promise, Paduk finally finds Sofia...and the two are left to pick up where they had left off so many months ago.


As he neared the makeshift camp, Paduk could feel his pulse hammering in his throat and he gripped the MK-2 Lancer he was carrying a little tighter. Judging by the loud voices and slurred words, most of the men were drunk, and that made Paduk's job a little easier. Though drunks may be able to take a few more hits than normal, they were easy to trip up and out-think.

Sticking close to the shadows, Paduk took in a slow breath, calming his nerves. He wasn't afraid, not by a long shot. No...he was nervous with hope. The hope that finally, after months of searching, he had finally found Sofia. The nagging guilt that had eaten away at him ever since he'd watched her being kidnapped through the scope of his rifle had only grown in intensity with the months of futile searching. It had been a guilt that Paduk had not been able to ignore or drown out in alcohol, no matter how hard he had tried.

But he recognized one of the voices, drunk or not, and Paduk began to say a silent prayer that Sofia was in one of the tents. His boot crunched against a dried clump of twigs and rocks, and Paduk froze, wincing and waiting for one of the men to look up. But they didn't. They must have been far drunker than Paduk initially thought.

All the better...

Finally stepping into the dim light cast by the flickering flames, Paduk immediately moved to the right, taking cover behind one of the tents and quickly made a small cut with his combat knife in the thick material. Glancing inside the tent, Paduk gritted his teeth. Nothing. Nothing more than a few discarded, empty food containers and what looked like half a brewery of beer bottles.

He heard a quiet, pained moan from the next tent, and Paduk quickly snapped to attention, darting over to the tent. Repeating the same cut in the back wall of the tent, Paduk looked inside...and felt his heart start to jackhammer against his chest.

Lying on her side was the emaciated and bruised form of a young woman, her hands bound tightly behind her back and her ankles tied together tight enough that a dark purple hue had formed around the ropes. But it was the hair, that fiery red hair splayed out behind the woman's still form, that caused every hope Paduk had ever had of finding Sofia kick in.

Resisting the urge to call out to her, Paduk quickly sheathed the Lancer on the back of his armor and quickly sliced through the back panel of the tent. He'd purposefully kept the knife as sharp as possible for two situations, one was something like this and the other was...well, the other was if somebody tried to stop Paduk from rescuing Sofia.

Stepping inside the tent as quietly as he could, Paduk began to worry that Sofia may be far worse than just in a sort of catatonic sleep. Her breathing was shallow and the bruises were far worse as Paduk drew closer. Sofia had long been stripped of her armor, and was now clad in a pair of ragged pants and a just as tattered shirt. His jaw set as he felt his temper rising. There was no way he was going to let those men escape this time...

"Sofia...?" Paduk whispered hoarsely.

Nothing.

Starting to feel a small snake of panic threatening to bite, Paduk set a hand on Sofia's shoulder. ...dammit, she was freezing.

"Sofia?" Paduk repeated, gently shaking Sofia.

This time, Sofia whimpered and moaned, slowly dragging herself out of her state of semi-consciousness. But Paduk had heard it. The rebellious fear and the threat of Sofia screaming and blowing Paduk's cover. Though he could appreciate and admire the fact that even as injured as she was, Sofia hadn't given up fighting, the last thing Paduk needed was her bringing a bunch of drunk, armed men charging after them.

So, saying a silent apology, Paduk quickly closed his hand over Sofia's mouth, turning her over onto her back as slowly and carefully as he could.

"Shhh," Paduk shushed quietly. As he turned Sofia over, he felt his temper flare from a smoldering hate to a full on wildfire. Sofia's face was bloodied and bruised, her right eye blackened to the point she could barely open it. But her left eye was unharmed, for the most part, and slowly it fluttered open. "Sofia. It's me..."

It wasn't the sight of Paduk that Sofia instantly recognized, but his voice. The thick, Gorasni accent that coated each word Paduk spoke. Sofia stared up at Paduk for a few seconds, her thoughts scattered and difficult to piece together, but at the sight of her former Kilo squad comrade, Sofia involuntarily made a small, but incredibly relieved, sigh.

Paduk managed a half-hearted smile, then held a finger to his lips.

"I'm going to cut you loose, okay?" he whispered. "But I need you to stay quiet."

Nodding her agreement slowly, Sofia took in a slow breath as Paduk removed his hand from her mouth. Sofia tried to look around as much as her sore neck and blurred vision would allow. Where were the rest of Paduk's squad? Were they outside? Or were they waiting at an evac point?

Wincing slightly as she felt the ties being cut from her ankles and wrists, Sofia stifled a cough and slowly brought her hands up so that they were in front of her. She reached down and feebly rubbed at her feet, gritting her teeth against the stabs of pain that slithered up her legs. Sofia struggled to sit up, finding that muscles she had once put through rigorous training at the Academy were no longer responding, but Paduk carefully put a hand on Sofia's back, helping her sit up. Sofia weakly clutched at Paduk's arm, keeping herself steady as Paduk produced a small canteen. He quickly unscrewed the cap and lifted it to Sofia's lips.

She needed no further coaxing. Though she tried to grip the canteen herself, hours of blood being cut off from her hands had done its work and Sofia could only feel a numbing feeling of pins and needles in her hands. So she desperately tried to drink as much of the water as she could let slip into her mouth. It was warm, but Sofia hardly cared. It splashed down her throat and tasted sweeter than any wine Sofia could think of. Rivulets trickled down from the corners of her mouth, and Sofia felt an ironic sense of manners. Regardless of the fact she had been prisoner for months, deprived of basic necessities, Sofia still felt as though she needed to have some semblance of manners around Paduk.

The former Gorasni soldier didn't seem to care, though, and he carefully wiped the water that escaped Sofia's mouth from her face. Finally, Sofia reluctantly nodded her head and Paduk withdrew the canteen. Sofia would have happily guzzled every last drop of water in the canteen, but if they had to run, she couldn't afford being sick to her stomach from the sudden rush of water.

"Where are the others?" Sofia finally asked, her voice low and raspy.

Paduk just stared at her.

"The others," Sofia repeated, tilting her head to one side.

"...there are no others," Paduk finally answered, looking almost apologetic.

"You mean they sent you on a rescue mission by yourself?" Sofia asked incredulously.

"Nobody sent me."

Paduk watched as the realization began to dawn on Sofia, and he bitterly wished that she'd never asked him that first question.

"But...but they...didn't they know...?" Sofia asked quietly, her voice starting to crack. "I mean...didn't they realize I was...missing."

"They did," Paduk said flatly. He hated answering these questions, and the guilt he had been carrying suddenly returned with a vengeance.

"...so...so why didn't they...," Sofia's voice broke for a moment before she continued. She finally looked up at Paduk pleadingly. "...why didn't they send somebody?"

Trying to steel himself over, remind himself that he was a cold, bitter, and jaded Gorasni soldier, Paduk fought to blot out the guilt that tore at him and he looked back at Sofia emotionlessly. There was no right answer for that question.

A horrified and sorrowful sob weakly hiccuped from Sofia's throat, and her grip on Paduk's arm intensified. No...they wouldn't...they couldn't have just...left her. ...could they? Sofia had always thought that her kidnappers were defectors from COG who were intent on causing trouble for the Coalition. She had always thought that eventually she would be rescued, and yes, she was finally being freed, but not in the manner she had expected. She had anticipated a group from their outpost at Halvo Bay, possibly even COG. If anything, a former prisoner from the Gorasni army was one of the last people she had expected to come to her aid.

...but...there was nobody. Nobody except Paduk. They'd left Sofia there. Left her to the mercies of the drunken bastards outside. Left her to suffer through things she'd only had nightmares about...

"Listen to me," Paduk finally said, his voice low. "I know this must be difficult, but I need you to remained focused, yeah?"

Forcing back the threat of tears, Sofia nodded her head, taking in a deep breath. Paduk was right. If she started sobbing and crying now, all she would do is draw unwanted attention to herself and Paduk.

"Can you stand?" Paduk whispered.

Trying to push herself to her feet, Sofia whimpered as nails of pain embedded themselves in her wrists and ankles. She clutched at Paduk's arm and looked up at him, shaking her head.

"Okay," Paduk replied calmly. He carefully grasped at Sofia's sides, lifting her to her feet. Sofia kept her grip on his arm, and once she was on her feet, she found that her legs finally agreed to cooperate, and after a couple of staggered steps, she took in a breath and nodded at Paduk.

"I'm good," she whispered.

"Let's go, we-"

The front flap of the tent suddenly tore open and one of the men that Paduk had seen earlier staggered in. Though he was roaring drunk, he immediately caught sight of Paduk and the now freed Sofia. Lifting up a Snub Pistol, he aimed it accusingly at Paduk.

"Th' fuck're you?" the man demanded furiously. He then turned the sights of the pistol on Sofia. "'n what the fuck're you doin' standin' up?"

"Sofia," Paduk said, putting himself between the pistol and Sofia. "Run. Do not stop. Do not look back. Just run."

"Like hell she's runnin'," the drunkard growled back as he squeezed off a shot from the Snub Pistol.

Stepping back and inadvertently shoving Sofia towards the gaping hole at the back of the tent, Paduk stifled a snarl of pain as the bullet tore into the thick padding of his armor and then buried itself in his left side. Quickly training his Lancer on the man, Paduk returned fire, the burst of assault rifle fire knocking the assailant to the ground.

"Run!" Paduk barked at Sofia. He then turned his full focus towards the center of the camp, where he could hear the rest of the men shouting in confusion. Stepping out of the tent and into the now bright firelight, Paduk took aim at the closest soldier, made a grim smile, and then squeezed off another burst of gunfire.

Again, the bullets from the Lancer ripped through the man. He wasn't even wearing full armor, just a rather flimsy looking flak vest. They hadn't anticipated anybody coming after Sofia. They hadn't anticipated paying for their transgressions.

White-hot pain in his right shoulder forcibly grabbed Paduk's attention and he looked over, seeing another man, this one wielding a shotgun from the looks of it. But the man was too drunk and too far away to make effective use of the shotgun, and when he fired another blast, Paduk barely flinched against the few flecks of buckshot that sliced across his right arm.

Once more the Lancer took down another victim at Paduk's command, and the remaining men began to scatter. Breathing heavily, Paduk slowed down, glancing around. He wasn't exactly keen on leaving survivors, but he didn't want Sofia running off too far. She was in no shape to be on her own and-

"Paduk!"

Sofia's panicked shriek made Paduk pivot around and sprint towards where he had heard her voice. He could already hear sounds of a fight, and when he heard Sofia scream and then yelp, Paduk put on an extra burst of speed. As he raced from the camp, Paduk saw one of the men, sitting on Sofia's stomach and pinning her to the ground, and his fist then struck across Sofia's face. Snarling furiously, Paduk unsheathed his knife and tackled the man was every last ounce of force he could muster.

Both Paduk and the man went sprawling against the dirt, but Paduk kept his grip on his knife. Quickly getting to his feet, adrenaline helping to numb the pain that was aching at his side, Paduk brought the knife blade down in a swift but powerful arc. The blade buried itself to the hilt in the man's chest, but whether it was the alcohol, incredible willpower, strength, or both, the man managed to rocket a punch across Paduk's face, knocking him aside and loosening his grip on the knife blade.

Rolling to his knees, and with considerable effort, the man managed to wrench the blade free from his chest. Paduk slowly stood up, starting to feel the pain from his injuries, and quickly glanced around for Sofia. But she was nowhere to be found.

Good. She didn't need to see what was coming next.

But first, Paduk had to get his knife back. And judging by the way the man was staggering, Paduk may have his work cut out for him.

The man charged, and Paduk quickly sidestepped, grabbing the man by the arm and twisting it upward violently. The man fell against Paduk, but refused to relinquish the blade, and the two once more crashed to the ground. Paduk landed on his back, and when he looked up, he saw the blade swinging down to his face. Instinctively he put his arms up, and while it stopped the blade, Paduk wasn't able to stop the cry of pain as the blade bit through his armor and then deep into his right forearm.

From the left, Paduk heard Sofia growl and suddenly she was clinging to the drunken attacker's back, furiously beating him in the head with a rock she had picked up. It was enough to cause the man to fall back, but he was off balance and fell back onto Sofia, who continued to angrily hit him with the rock with every ounce of strength she could muster. Scrambling to his feet, Paduk darted over and grabbed the knife blade. All he could think of was keeping the man from stabbing Sofia.

Bracing himself for the inevitable pain, Paduk twisted the blade away, and while it sliced into his hand, it also fell free from the attacker's hand. Grabbing the man by the collar of his shirt and throwing him off of Sofia, Paduk looked down at Sofia, who was somewhere between scared and furious. He didn't have time to say anything, though, as the drunkard, had managed to stumble and stagger to his feet. Blinded by rage, alcohol, and probably blood loss at this point, the man once more charged at Paduk.

Narrowing his eyes, Paduk drove the blade into the man's gut all the way to the hilt.

"See you in Hell," Paduk hissed, twisting the blade violently before ripping it out and repeating the action. He was able to do so twice before the man collapsed, and Paduk stared down at man's body. Though it convulsed slightly, Paduk was grimly all too familiar with a person's death throes, and he stepped away slowly.

Turning, he saw Sofia looking at him with wide eyes, and Paduk let his gaze drift to the ground. He could only imagine the type of monster that he looked like now, covered in grit and gore. He carefully wiped the blood from the knife and then sheathed it. Looking up, he saw Sofia standing in front of him, her chest rising and falling quickly as she worked to catch her breath. She quickly glanced over Paduk and frowned.

"Shit, Paduk," Sofia said, managing a grim smile. "You really got beat up..."

Chuckling lowly, Paduk nodded and winced, lightly touching the bullet wound at his side. It was then that Sofia seemed to notice just how badly he was injured, because she made a sharp gasp and grabbed Paduk's shoulder.

"Dammit," she cried softly. "I didn't know you got shot. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Didn't exactly have the opportunity to," Paduk replied, glancing over quickly at the now still body of their last attacker. "Was a bit...preoccupied. We should go. I've got a vehicle waiting just a ways away."

Nodding, Sofia let her hand linger on Paduk's shoulder, and she peered up at him closely.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Sofia asked softly.

"I will be," Paduk answered, his tone confident. "Not much we can do out here anyways."

Frowning, but nodding slowly, Sofia let her hand fall to her side. Once again, Paduk was right. There wasn't much they could do about their injuries out here. Even so...concern nagged at Sofia as she followed Paduk off towards what looked like a beat up pickup truck, as she noticed that his limp was getting more and more pronounced.

()

As the pickup barreled down across the dry, parched ground, Sofia glanced out, watching the ground whiz by. Some part of her was still convinced that it was a dream, that she would wake up, and once again find herself bound up and held prisoner.

"Here."

Paduk's voice made Sofia jump slightly, and she looked down to find that her former Kilo squad comrade was offering her the canteen he had brought with him. Slowly taking the canteen, Sofia unscrewed the top and started to take a drink, but paused.

"What about you?" Sofia asked, glancing over at Paduk.

"I'll be fine," Paduk replied. "Besides, you could use the drink far more than I could."

In truth, Paduk was starting to feel a sliver of concern. He had lost more blood than he had thought, and while he had been able to bandage up his wounds on the walk over to the pickup, they were haphazardly wrapped and almost seemed to be more for aesthetics than anything.

But his goal, his primary concern, was Sofia. She was emaciated, had to be starving, and the more Paduk looked at her injuries, the more infuriated he got. He could think of plenty of people that perhaps deserved to be treated like prisoners, but Sofia was not one of them.

Finally, Sofia tipped the canteen up, and though she drank cautiously at first, she began to drink the water as fast as her throat would allow. She lifted the canteen back as far back as she could, desperate to get every last drop of the water from the canteen. Suddenly, Sofia began to cough and she shook her head, trying to get her breath back.

"Careful," Paduk advised, smiling faintly. "Don't choke."

"I won't," Sofia answered in between coughs, managing a smile. She looked over Paduk quickly, then set the canteen down in her lap. "How are you doing?"

"Fine," Paduk answered shortly. He then looked over at Sofia before turning his gaze back to the barely used road in front of them. Sofia was almost curled up against the door of the pickup, her hands tightly gripping the canteen. Her legs were still trembling, and every now and then her entire body would shudder as though she were afraid or cold. ...perhaps she was both. "How are you?"

Seeming surprised by the question, Sofia looked up slightly before nodding.

"I'm...doing better now," she replied, smiling weakly. "Where are we going?"

"A bit of a safe house I rigged up," Paduk explained, leaning forward slightly as he tried to get a better view out of the cracked windshield. "Comes complete with my own brand of a security system."

Raising an eyebrow, Sofia looked over at Paduk, who was grinning smugly.

"Do I dare ask?" Sofia inquired, laughing shortly.

"You should be able to see it here in a little bit," Paduk replied. "...there we are."

Sitting up, Sofia looked up to see the remnants of a small town. There were a few lights on in some of the buildings, and Sofia felt her heart begin to race. Paduk must have noticed her apprehension, because he waved a hand dismissively.

"Don't worry too much about the locals," Paduk explained. "Everybody keeps to themselves here, but there are just enough people to keep most problems at bay. ...most."

Nodding, Sofia hugged herself tightly, then looked over at Paduk, biting her bottom lip slightly.

"Are you...leaving me here?" she asked apprehensively.

"Of course not," Paduk replied quickly, chuckling shortly. "I didn't go through all of this just to drop you off at some broken down town."

Nodding, Sofia looked down at her lap, wringing her hands. Frowning and sighing, Paduk turned his attention back to the town as he neared the small, two-story house that he had more or less laid claim to. Nobody had challenged him after the first, and only, person had tried to take the house from him...and Paduk had threatened to show him how much damage the chainsaw bayonet could do to a human.

Slowing the pickup to a stop, Paduk breathed a short sigh of relief before opening the door. Sofia glanced around quickly and then looked over to Paduk, who was already climbing out of the pickup.

"Is this it?" she asked quietly, looking up at the two-story house.

It had been surrounded by razor wire, with a few makeshift barriers put in place. Nothing particularly fancy or sophisticated, but it would do the job of at least giving would-be attackers a chance to second think their attack. The windows were boarded up, and the door looked to have a few reinforcements on it. Sofia found herself wondering just how much time and effort Paduk had put into this entire thing.

She was so lost in her thoughts that when Paduk opened the passenger door of the pickup, Sofia made a small shriek and jumped in the seat.

"Easy, easy," Paduk said, taking a small limp back.

"Sorry," Sofia replied quickly, ducking her head. She carefully climbed out of the passenger seat, but the instant her feet hit the ground, Sofia felt her knees buckle underneath her.

"Whoa!" Paduk cried, catching Sofia before she collapsed to the ground. "Careful. There's broken glass all over the place. The locals have a bit of a drinking problem..."

Nodding, clutching at Paduk's armor, Sofia worked on locking her knees. Paduk helped her to the door, carrying his Lancer in his other hand. He unlocked the door and ushered Sofia in before following her inside the house, shutting the door behind them and locking all four locks on the door.

Shaking and still hugging herself lightly, Sofia looked around the house.

It was still furnished, though the furniture was covered in a thick coat of dust, and most of the furniture was shoved up against the windows and the back door of the house. It looked as though they had walked into the dining and kitchen area, and across from them was the living room, with a staircase in between them.

She wasn't sure if it was that she was finally starting to accept that she truly was free, of if it was being in a...friendlier environment, but Sofia felt her old self start to resurface. She turned to look at Paduk, who was currently gripping the door frame to steady himself. Steeling herself over, Sofia walked over to Paduk and lightly set a hand on his shoulder. The former Gorasni soldier looked up at her and slowly stood up straight, but Sofia just smiled faintly and shook her head.

"We need to get you patched up, Paduk," Sofia said quietly, but firmly.

"I'll be fine," Paduk answered. "I've been through worse."

"Yes, well...I need you to be in as best shape as you can be just in case somebody decides to kidnap me again. Plus, I'm not taking 'no' for an answer."

Raising an eyebrow slightly and grinning faintly, Paduk nodded slightly and motioned to the staircase that was in the middle of the house.

"I put most of the supplies up in the master bedroom," he stated. "There should be a medkit as well."

"Good," Sofia said, nodding shortly. "Come on, you grumpy 'ole Gorasni."

"Oh ho, a 'grumpy 'ole Gorasni', am I?" Paduk chuckled, following Sofia up the stairs slowly.

"Well...just for now."

Shrugging slightly, Paduk watched as Sofia teetered up the stairs. He wondered just how much damage had been inflicted on her those long months. But the more his imagination began to run wild, the less Paduk wanted to think about it. At the top of the staircase, Paduk pointed to the right, and guided Sofia to the master bedroom.

Looking around, Sofia quickly picked up the medkit. It was promisingly heavy and as she began to open it, Sofia felt a small wave of relief wash through her. There were antiseptics, a scalpel, and even some local anesthesia. Plus the standard bandages and other means to close up a wound. Setting the medkit down on the small vanity in the bedroom, Sofia turned to Paduk, who was still standing in the bedroom, looking a bit out of place.

"You do know you're probably going to want to lay down," Sofia said, raising an eyebrow.

Sighing, Paduk nodded his head, but didn't move.

"This is probably going to hurt, huh?"

"Like Hell."

"Wonderful. And here I was worried I'd forget what pain felt like," Paduk joked grimly.

"We need to get your armor off, first," Sofia advised quietly. She walked over and reached to start undoing the fastens of Paduk's armor, but stopped when he flinched slightly. "Sorry...did you want to do that on your own?"

"That would be...preferred," Paduk lied slowly. But when he reached to try and undo the armor fastens on his left side, he winced and gritted his teeth as a bolt of pain forced him to stop. "...although it seems as though I will not be getting the preferred method."

"I promise I'll be gentle," Sofia laughed weakly. She began to undo the fastens as quickly and carefully as she could.

"Thank you," Paduk muttered quietly.

Carefully removing the armor and setting it aside, Sofia sucked in a sharp breath of air. Paduk's light grey shirt was blood-soaked, even through the makeshift bandaging, and Sofia started to panic that her basic combat first aid skills may not be enough.

"That bad, huh?" Paduk asked, chuckling.

"No, not at all," Sofia lied, shaking her head. She then carefully began removing the now damaged and blood-stained armor that was locked around Paduk's forearms. "May I ask you something, Paduk?"

"Why did you come by yourself to find me?"

Paduk was silent, instead focusing on Sofia removing the armor from his forearms. He knew the reason, or rather, reasons, but he didn't dare voice them. At least, not yet. He wasn't sure how Sofia would react, and at best, her reaction would most likely be nonplussed gratitude. At worst...well, Paduk would try to avoid focusing on the worst at the moment.

"Rather not say, huh?" Sofia asked with half-grin.

"Yeah, you could say that," Paduk answered, wincing as the armor finally pulled free from his injured forearm.

"Sorry," Sofia said quickly. She studied the injury closely, carefully pulling the bandages away. Frowning, she carefully guided Paduk to the large bed of the master bedroom. "Lay down and I'll get that bullet out of you first."

"...yippee," Paduk grumbled sarcastically. He lay down, gritting his teeth against the now full-fledged agony in his left side. Sighing as he rested his head against the pillows, he glanced over at Sofia, who was hurriedly picking out various items from the medkit.

Paduk had noticed that Sofia had stopped shaking, and she was walking with a bit more sure-footedness. Even so, he knew that it was only a temporary reprieve and Sofia would need to have her injuries tended to. And Paduk could only guess how hungry Sofia was at this point. Turning, Sofia gave Paduk another apologetic look before walking over to the nightstand by the bed and setting down a pair of tweezers, antiseptic, a local anesthesia, a bundle of gauze pads, and a scalpel.

"I'm sorry. This is going to probably hurt...a lot," Sofia warned sadly.

"I know," Paduk answered. "Just get the damn thing out."

"Right...sorry." Sofia carefully sat down on the bed beside Paduk and lifted his shirt up before carefully pulling away the bandages.

Sighing, Paduk regretted the acid tone in his voice, but before he could say anything, he felt the unmistakable burn of antiseptic against the bullet wound, followed by the cold, numbing sensation of the anesthesia. He hissed loudly, gripping the comforter of the bed.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Sofia repeated, trying to clean the wound as quickly but carefully as possible.

"Why are you apologizing?" Paduk asked through gritted teeth. "I would be in a hell of a lot more trouble without your help."

"...well, I'm...hurting you."

"Temporarily."

"Right, well, here comes the not fun part," Sofia warned, reaching over and picking up the scalpel and the pair of tweezers.

"That last part was fun?"

"Compared to this, I think it will be." Sofia then inspected the bullet wound as carefully as she could, trying to see if she could spot the bullet. So far, nothing. "So...Paduk. How did you find me?"

"What do you mean? I followed the sound of drunken asshole in the middle of the desert."

"Okay," Sofia replied, still working on trying to numb the area of the bullet wound as much as she could. She had already grimly accepted that she was going to have to make a small incision to get the bullet out, and Sofia could only imagine the kind of pain that would inflict. "How did you manage to find the sound of drunken asshole in the desert?"

Sighing and managing a short chuckle, Paduk stared up at the ceiling. He had a pretty good idea of what Sofia was about to do, and he didn't want to watch.

"Well, first just asked around as to what had happened s-shit!" Paduk stopped short as he felt the scalpel cut into his side. He fought the urge to arch his back against the pain, and instead resorted to putting a death grip on the comforter.

"Almost," Sofia said calmly. "Keep going."

"Right," Paduk breathed. As the bite of the scalpel subsided, he slowly relinquished his grip on the comforter. "I just asked around, tried to find out where they would take a beau-young...woman," Paduk said, quickly correcting himself.

But Sofia had noticed, yet her gaze was down and Paduk missed it as her lips pulled up into a small smile. She then set the scalpel aside and got the tweezers, prodding into the bullet wound as carefully as she could.

"In any case, I eventually came across a few names, and then it was just a matter of de-dammit!" Paduk struck the bed with his fist as the tweezers stabbed into him.

"Sorry, I-"

"Don't. Apologize," Paduk ordered, trying to keep his tone as even as possible. "Once I had names...I tracked them down...got information where it was needed...it took me a few months...and I called in quite a few favors, but I finally fou-fuck!"

"Got it!" Sofia stated triumphantly.

Paduk looked over and saw Sofia deposit the bloodied bullet on the nightstand table. Breathing a slow sigh of relief, Paduk relaxed as he felt Sofia tape the gauze bandages to the wound. Sitting up straight for a bit, Sofia looked over Paduk quickly, then to his right arm. Leaning forward, Sofia inspected the injuries. Paduk watched her expression closely, trying to watch for the revulsion that so many had for the burn scars that marred his skin.

But if Sofia had any such feelings, she didn't show them. Instead, she pursed her lips slightly in thought before sitting back on her heels.

"I'm going to have to get that buck shot out, too, you know."

"I know."

Sofia then grinned slightly and carefully tugged at Paduk's shirt.

"All right, Paduk, shirt off. There's no way I'm going to be able to get to the buckshot in your shoulder without either your shirt removed or turning it into a tank top."

Making a short snort of indignation, Paduk sat up and allowed Sofia to remove his shirt. The burn scars were just as bad as they were on his arm and face, the skin on his right side, and even a ways along the right side of his back, warped and damaged beyond repair. The Lightmass Missile had done an incredible job for searing through armor...and leaving ghastly scars. Again, though, Sofia was silent, and Paduk shifted slightly on the bed.

He had no idea why he felt any sort of reservation. Enough years in the military and you quickly learned to overcome any level of shyness you may have once had, but as Sofia walked around the bed, Paduk had the momentarily insane idea of yanking the comforter over himself and simply saying he was going to sleep.

He could only imagine Sofia's reaction to that little antic.

"This shouldn't hurt as much," Sofia promised quietly, cleaning the small wounds. "...but it might be a little more...difficult to get to the buckshot because of the...the..."

"Scars, I know," Paduk finished.

"Right," Sofia said quickly, keeping her gaze focused on cleaning the injuries. "...sorry."

"Did you launch the Lightmass Missile?" Paduk asked pointedly.

"Well, no, but-"

"Then you shouldn't apologize." Paduk winced as Sofia managed to pull the first piece of buckshot from his arm.

"Right. Understood," Sofia answered gently setting her fingers on Paduk's arm as she worked on trying to remove the second piece of buckshot. "...so...you came out all this way, went through all of that trouble, and went through all of this...on your own accord? To save me?"

"Yes," Paduk replied after a brief moment of hesitation. "I did."

The answer was enough to make Sofia look up, and she paused briefly, her eyes studying Paduk's expression quickly. Paduk remained silent, and tried to keep his expression as neutral as possible. Finally, Sofia turned her attention back to removing the buckshot from Paduk's arm.

"May I ask why...?" she whispered.

"Why what?"

"Why you would go through all of that to rescue me?"

"...for both our sakes I think it best to leave that question unanswered," Paduk replied quietly, glancing at Sofia before looking across the room and focusing on a point on the wall.

"Really?" Sofia asked, trying to pry one of the last pieces of buckshot from Paduk's arm as carefully as she could. "It wasn't just to save your former travel buddy?"

Again Paduk was silent. The only sound he made was a low hiss as Sofia finally managed to pull the last piece of buckshot from his scarred arm. She quickly began wrapping bandages around his injured arm, before moving on to the gash on his forearm. She applied antiseptic and then butterfly closures before wrapping a snug couple of rounds of bandaging on the injury. Finishing, Sofia set the bandage roll aside, but let her hand still gently hold onto Paduk's arm. She looked up at him expectantly, still waiting for an answer.

But the only answer Paduk had was not one he yet had the nerve to voice.

It wasn't for lack of desire. Quite the contrary. At the moment, Paduk wanted little more than to tend to Sofia's injuries, then simply hold her close and assure her that this would never happen again. Not on his watch, at least. No, there was plenty of desire on his part, but it was the fear of not knowing what Sofia's reaction would be that kept him quiet.

Upon realizing that Paduk wasn't going to answer, Sofia sighed heavily and nodded. She leaned forward a little and inspected the already forming bruise on Paduk's jaw.

"That's going to be sore for a while," she murmured, her fingers lightly touching Paduk's chin. "But there's not much I can do about it, I'm afraid. Not unless the former occupants here left a bunch of ice packs for us."

"What? You're not going to kiss it and make it better?" Paduk asked. Though his tone was sarcastic, his intent was anything but. Yet he braced for Sofia to either be mollified or, at the very least, slap him.

On her part, though, Sofia was quiet, and lightly bit her bottom lip before looking up at Paduk.

"Would you let me?" she whispered.

The question, even though it was the one that he had wanted to hear, caught Paduk off guard, and he looked back at Sofia, trying to read her frustratingly calm expression.

"...yes," he finally answered. His heart had returned to jackhammering in his chest, and it took everything he had to simply keep his voice tone even.

A shy smile flashed across Sofia's face before she crawled forward, her hand once again lightly resting against Paduk's face, as she leaned towards him and kissed Paduk gently.

His breath catching in his throat, Paduk reached up and slowly laced his fingers into Sofia's fiery red hair, savoring every moment of her lips against his. Feeling a little more emboldened, Paduk carefully pulled Sofia closer. She didn't resist, and Sofia slowly leaned herself across Paduk's chest, not breaking their kiss and mindful of Paduk's injuries...and the fact that she could feel his heartbeat against his chest.

The sensation seemed to ignite something inside Sofia and she fervently deepened the kiss, a quiet gasp managing to escape her lips. Paduk certainly had no objections, and he used his free hand to gently comb back Sofia's hair before caressing her face. Even through all that she had been through, Sofia's lips tasted incredibly sweet, and Paduk sat up slowly, trying to make things a little easier for Sofia.

Sofia sat up on her knees, finding herself starting to slip farther and farther into this one moment. This one moment where everything seemed perfect. Paduk began to kiss down the side of Sofia's neck, which elicited a quiet moan from Sofia as she gently gripped at Paduk's shoulders, feeling her heart flutter momentarily. Paduk's hand slid underneath Sofia's shirt...and that's when she felt the heart-stopping stab of panic as a flood of painfully horrifying memories struck her.

Quickly closing her eyes, Sofia tried to will them away, tried to remind herself that it was gone. That it was in the past, but her senses refused to obey. It felt like a vise was slowly closing in on her chest, sucking the air from her lungs and crushing her now racing heart. She-

"Sofia!"

Her eyes snapping open, Sofia found that Paduk had gently grasped her face and was looking at her steadily. Her hands clasped over Paduk's, and Sofia felt the first threat of tears as her eyes burned.

"I...I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice cracking.

"Sofia...what's wrong?" Paduk asked. Panic was starting to set in. If he had injured her in any way... "Sofia. Did I hurt you?"

"No..!" Sofia answered quickly, trying to blink the tears back. "No. You didn't. You didn't do anything wrong. I just...I...I remembered...what...what they...what they-" Sofia's voice broke and all the blinking in the world couldn't stop the tears that slipped down her face. She tried to hide her face, feeling embarrassed by the sudden wash of emotions, but Paduk gently held her still, using his thumb to wipe away the tears before letting his hands fall from Sofia's face.

"I'm sorry," Paduk finally said. He wasn't sure what else to say to Sofia. But he had plenty of choice words for himself, and Paduk mentally berated himself for being so headstrong. _'Dammit, Paduk. Better...!'_ Excellent course of action to go with. Start pawing at a woman who had been captive of a bunch of drunken idiots only hours earlier. Looking back to Sofia, Paduk set his hand on her shoulder and gave Sofia a slight tug towards him.

Sofia looked up, her face now thoroughly tear-stained, and she quickly crawled into Paduk's waiting arms. She buried her face against the side of Paduk's neck, sobbing hoarsely. The memories were there, but now it was simply everything, all that she had been through, that was finally catching up with her, finally collapsing on her shoulders and threatening to crush her. Sofia desperately wanted to block them out, but no matter how hard she tried, it was like they were on a constant playback loop in her mind.

They just wouldn't stop...

"You're safe now," Paduk murmured, smoothing Sofia's hair slowly. Sofia was practically hysterical at this point, and Paduk knew of nothing to say that would make anything better at this point. Well, he had gotten his wish...but he would have preferred it not come with the cost of Sofia crying.

Curling up against Paduk, setting her head against his chest, Sofia squeezed her eyes shut as her body shuddered with another sob. She wanted, more than anything right now, to block out the whole, horrible world. To forget everything that had happened over the past few months. During a brief reprieve from her sobbing, Sofia could hear Paduk's steady heartbeat, and she tried to focus solely on that. Though the memories continued to haunt her mercilessly, Sofia found some solace in the rhythmic heartbeat. She took in a deep, shaking breath...just as a fresh wave of tears struck her.

Paduk remained silent, and simply held Sofia close. He figured that this was months of pain and horror finally finding an outlet of sorts, and that Sofia probably needed that outlet. After a few minutes, Sofia's painful sobbing began to subside, and Paduk looked down. He carefully combed Sofia's hair from her face, which was matted to her cheek with tears. Sofia was still crying, albeit much less and much quieter, and it looked as though she had almost cried herself to exhaustion.

But she was still hurt. She had to get her injuries cleaned and tended to before she could get any form of restful sleep.

"Sofia," Paduk said reluctantly. "Sofia, we need to take care of your injuries."

"Please...just...just a few more minutes, Paduk. Please?"

"Of course."

Burying her face against Paduk's chest, Sofia squeezed her eyes shut tightly. The bitter, angry side of her wanted to be left alone and just go to sleep. She was sick and tired of being in pain, no matter about her wounds. But the rational side of Sofia's mind took over soon enough, and she knew that Paduk was right. Plus, once she was bandaged up, Sofia could get sleep. Her first, real sleep in months.

She slowly sat up, reluctant to leave Paduk's embrace, but she combed her hair back with her fingers and smiled faintly.

"All right. Let's get me all cleaned up and bandaged up, please," she said shakily. "I would kill somebody by this point to sleep on a real bed."

"Understood. I'll try to stay out of your way, then," Paduk chuckled. He then looked over Sofia carefully. "Do you want my help? Or would you feel more comfortable doing this on your own?"

"I'm going to need your help," Sofia murmured. Nodding, Paduk stood up and limped over to where the medkit was. "I think most of my injuries are bruises, but...there are some cuts I need to get taken care of. ...and...and bite...bite mark."

Freezing in mid-step, Paduk clenched his fists tightly, his jaw setting involuntarily. Bite mark, huh? He shouldn't have left a single one of those bastards alive. ...and he should have used the knife to kill each one of them. A gun was too quick. Far too kind.

Breathing out slowly, reminding himself that the last thing Sofia needed was to see him as infuriated as he felt, Paduk picked up the medkit and turned around. He paused momentarily. Sofia had already pulled her shirt off and had it clutched to her chest. She hadn't been wearing anything underneath it, and even just at a glance, Paduk could see a patchwork of bruises on Sofia's back.

"I...I will be right back," Paduk said, setting the medkit on the bed.

"Where are you going?" Sofia asked, looking up in confusion.

"See if the former occupants left any sort of wash rags," Paduk explained.

"Oh...o-okay."

As he walked out of the room, Paduk grabbed his shirt and thought about putting it back on, but one look at the large bloodstain on it, Paduk sighed and threw the shirt over his shoulder, letting it fall to the floor. He heard Sofia giggle lightly behind him, and Paduk couldn't help but grin faintly. He looked over his shoulder at her. Sofia was smiling at him weakly, but sincerely. It was a welcome change compared to the sorrow she had been in just a few minutes ago.

"You know, most women get screeching mad at a man when he throws his clothes on the floor," Paduk teased.

"Not my house. I don't have to clean it," Sofia retorted primly, managing a slightly wider smile.

"Ah, I see. Clever woman," Paduk chuckled as he walked into the hallway and to the main bathroom of the house. He could hear Sofia still giggling, and while he was relieved to hear her laughing, Paduk could feel his fury returning again.

Those bastards... They had no right, _no right_, to do to Sofia what they did. Hells, they didn't have a right to do that to any woman. But as far as Paduk was concerned, Sofia had been under his protection, his watch, and he'd let those men-no, they were not men. He'd let those animals kidnap Sofia.

He should have butchered every last one of them...

But he hadn't. And as of right now, there was nothing that Paduk could do about it. As of right now, Sofia needed him to have a clear head and he had to help try and mend some of the damage he had let happen. He sorted through the bathroom cabinet. Fortunately there were a few clean washcloths that weren't coated in dust. Paduk grabbed those and walked back into the master bedroom.

Sofia had calmed down considerably, and she was trying to comb her hair with the broken brush that had been left on the vanity table in the bedroom. When she heard Paduk, she turned around quickly, the shirt still clutched to her chest.

"Find any?" she asked with a nervous smile.

"Yeah," Paduk replied, holding up the white wash cloths. He snatched up one of the water bottles that was sitting on top of the dresser drawer sets and walked back over to the bed. Sofia obediently sat back down, but she had started to shiver again. Sitting down beside Sofia, Paduk looked her over quickly.

"Are you sure you want my help?" Paduk asked quietly.

"Yes, please," Sofia answered, nodding and turning so that her back was to Paduk. "I...I'm just...I don't know what I am."

"You're a young woman who has gone through things that nobody should ever have to experience," Paduk stated solemnly. He soaked half of one of the wash cloths with the water and began to carefully wipe the grit and dried blood from Sofia's back. Most of the injuries were bruises, boot marks from the looks of it. Goddammit...the bastards had _kicked_ her like she was some sort of stray dog.

Finally, he came to what looked like a cut that had occurred from a rock or some with a sharp edge. Paduk gently cleaned the wound, wincing slightly when he heard Sofia whimper. But Sofia held still, tightly clutching at her tattered shirt.

"I believe there are still some clothes left from the former owners," Paduk murmured. He had finished cleaning away the blood and was now applying two bandages to the cut. "We may be able to find something for you that is better than those rags."

"Sounds like a good idea," Sofia said, trying to sound as optimistic as possible. "Too bad, I kind of like you shirtless."

Making a small snort of surprise, Paduk paused, then shook his head.

"Thank you," he finally said, cleaning off the last traces of grit and blood from Sofia's back. Her injuries had been surprisingly minimal, as there was little Paduk could do right now for the bruises. "...I think."

Sofia giggled and sat up a little straighter, her hair cascading down her back. She reached around to move her hair away, but Paduk gently grasped her hand, stopping her.

"Paduk?" Sofia asked, glancing over her shoulder slightly.

"...how did you want to handle...the...erm...front?" Paduk asked awkwardly, releasing Sofia's hand.

Turning around slowly, Sofia looked at Paduk, studying his expression, before smiling half-heartedly.

"Well, I'm going to still need your help," she said quietly. She held up her left hand, revealing that her ring finger was missing almost half of its fingernail, and her index and middle fingers were cut badly. Paduk quietly wondered how Sofia had managed to tend to his injuries with the steady-handedness that she had. "Just...um...can you give me a minute or two?"

"Of course," Paduk replied, setting aside the water bottle and wash cloth.

Her smile returning, Sofia crawled a little closer to Paduk, then paused, looking at him with an almost shy, nervous expression.

"...would it be too much to ask if I could kiss you again?" she whispered.

"You do not even need to ask," Paduk answered, smiling.

Leaning forward, Sofia kissed Paduk gently, using her right hand to gently grasp at the back of his neck. Keeping himself in check, Paduk caressed Sofia's face lightly, but let Sofia set the pace. He couldn't hurt her any further...

"Okay," Sofia whispered, pulling back and sitting down. "I know there's...a few cuts on my shoulders, but there's a painful one on my right side. Right along my ribs. They...they got wasted out of their minds...made all sorts of...threats."

Growling lowly, Paduk looked over to where Sofia had moved the shirt away. Sure enough, there was a long, straight cut across her skin. It looked to be mostly superficial, but it hadn't been tended to, and the edges were red with the first signs of infection.

"I need to clean that, first," Paduk murmured, rifling through the medkit for the antiseptic and a couple of gauze pads. Finding them, Paduk soaked one of them in antiseptic. "...this will hurt. I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Sofia murmured, gripping her shirt a little tighter as she braced herself. She wasn't worried about the pain. She'd felt the sting of antiseptic before on far worse injuries. No, she was trying to brace herself for being touched again.

It wasn't that she didn't trust Paduk. It was the exact opposite. Sofia trusted him completely, but her survival instinct had kicked into overdrive and wasn't shutting off. Every time one of her captors had touched her, yanked her around, pinned her down, Sofia had fought tooth and nail against them. It hadn't always worked, but it had given Sofia some small level of satisfaction to hear their yelps of pain or snarls of frustration.

The sudden, cold and biting sensation of the antiseptic made Sofia involuntarily jerk away, and Paduk froze, quickly looking up at her. Sofia smiled down at him nervously, relaxing slowly.

"Sorry," she murmured. "It's a bit colder than I was expecting."

"Understood." Breathing out slowly, Paduk continued to clean the wound, frowning at how warm it felt. He'd have to keep an eye on the injury to make sure it didn't get any worse. After the wound was cleaned and bandaged, Paduk sat up straight, wincing as his left side ached in protest. Sofia looked at him in concern and started to say something, but Paduk waved a hand dismissively.

Sitting back a little, Sofia watched as Paduk got a clean set of gauze pads. He then looked at Sofia, waiting for her to show him the next injury. After taking in a slow breath, Sofia let the shirt slide down, revealing another set of bruises and a slightly bloodied bite mark just above her right breast. Paduk's jaw set and he mentally reminded himself rigidly that he had to keep his temper in check. That it would do no good to terrify Sofia.

"...goddammit," he breathed. "I'm...I'm so sorry, Sofia."

"Just...let's just get it bandaged up, yeah?" Sofia asked, trying to sound as calm as possible. "I feel a little silly."

Nodding, Paduk quickly began cleaning the injury as carefully as he could. Sofia gently grasped his shoulder with her right hand, steadying herself. Paduk glanced up at her, half expecting Sofia to be panicking again, but instead she managed a small smile and shrugged slightly.

"I highly doubt this is the first time you've seen a woman without her shirt on," Sofia said, laughing shortly.

His common sense kicking in, Paduk just made a short, non-committal grunt before finishing wiping away the last traces of dried blood. He heard Sofia laugh and Paduk looked up at her, obviously confused.

"What?" he asked, searching around the medkit for bandages.

"You honestly think I'd judge you?" Sofia queried, raising an eyebrow.

"I have learned to never assume what a woman will do," Paduk answered, tearing open the packaging on one of the bandages. "She will most definitely prove you wrong."

Sofia just laughed harder, and she grinned at Paduk.

"See?" she giggled. "You're smarter than you look."

Pausing, Paduk gave Sofia a mock offended look, which only made her laugh again.

"Hrmph," Paduk muttered, reaching over and beginning the careful process of taping the bandage onto the wound. "Your sense of humor seems to be recovering quite well."

"Well...you're doing an excellent job of playing doctor," Sofia answered. The entire conversation seemed incredibly awkward, but was surprisingly calming. Keeping her gaze on the wall across the room, Sofia held as still as possible. "What was it you'd say when you save one of our asses from getting killed by a grub?"

Sitting back up, again wincing, Paduk grinned smugly.

"Doctor Paduk, to the rescue," he reminded proudly.

"That's right!" Sofia exclaimed. Realizing that the injury was bandaged, she quickly gathered the tattered shirt up over her chest. Regardless of her familiarity with Paduk, Sofia still had her manners and dignity.

"Let me see your hand, Sofia," Paduk requested softly.

Holding out her hand, palm down, Sofia twitched slightly as Paduk tenderly grasped her hand. She heard him sigh again and he began to clean the injuries. While they were together at Halvo Bay, Sofia had started to see a more compassionate side of Paduk that she hadn't really expected from him. He'd started to go out of his way to make Sofia's daily tasks easier, and their conversations had gone from just the polite 'How are you?' to how their week had been, and then to their past, their childhoods...and past loves.

While Sofia had had to face her own, slightly checkered past while with Kilo Squad, she'd been surprised to learn that Paduk had been quite interested in a woman before E-Day. The things he'd done to try and impress her, regardless of the demands of his job in the military, had made Sofia blush...and she hadn't even been the focus of Paduk's affections.

But Paduk had been rebuked at every turn, and though he had simply shrugged off Sofia's sympathies, saying it was in the past and done with, Sofia had noticed the slight, bitter tone in Paduk's voice...and the twinge of jealousy that she had felt.

Sofia had stopped bringing that subject up after that.

Even so, the two had grown closer. Enough that Sofia had found herself seeking out Paduk, even if it was just to sit around for a few hours and do nothing but chat and enjoy his company.

But now she found herself wondering if Paduk had found somebody else while she had been held captive. And though dread was starting to work its way into the pit of her stomach, Sofia had to know. She couldn't let her hopes get too high only to be brought down. Not when they were already soaring as it was...

"This may hurt a little," Paduk warned as he began to pull the bandages taut over Sofia's cut fingers.

"It's okay," Sofia breathed out through gritted teeth. "This is probably the least of my injuries..."

"Seems like it," Paduk commented.

"Paduk...? May I ask you something?"

"You just did," Paduk replied with a faint grin. "But go ahead..."

"Are you...seeing anybody?"

Paduk paused, then continued wrapping the bandages around Sofia's hand. He was almost done, and he sighed heavily. The dread in Sofia's stomach suddenly lunged upward and snagged in her chest. Dammit...what had she done? She'd hauled off and kissed him, trying to bring Paduk closer, and he was-

"No," Paduk finally answered. He looked up at Sofia, studying her expression. "Why do you ask...?"

Sofia blinked quickly, her heart now racing.

"Well, I figure after coming onto like some sort of silly sorority girl," Sofia murmured, feeling a slight blush rise to her face, "I wanted to know if...maybe we could pick up where we left off? Or...maybe even go a little further from there?"

Taking in a breath, trying to calm his racing thoughts, Paduk sat up, but held onto Sofia's now fully bandaged hand gently. That was the question he'd been waiting for. The one that he'd been wanting to hear. The one he'd wished he'd had the courage to ask.

"Yes, Sofia," Paduk answered, gently kissing the top of Sofia's hand. "We can do that. I would...truly appreciate the opportunity to do that."

Sofia smiled widely and she leaned forward, cupping her hand under Paduk's face so that she could kiss him. Making a soft chuckle against her lips, Paduk combed back a few stray locks of Sofia's hair. For a few split seconds, he couldn't quite focus on anything, and mercifully enough, the pain from his injuries was momentarily lifted.

So this was what this sort of acceptance felt like...

This sort of compassion...

Pulling back slightly, gently nuzzling her face against Paduk's before resting her forehead against his, Sofia smiled faintly.

"Thank you, Paduk," she whispered.

"Thank _you_," Paduk chuckled, caressing Sofia's face. "I had...wanted to ask you the same question for quite awhile. ...I just simply didn't have the guts to do it."

"What? Tough, 'ole Paduk was scared of little me?" Sofia said, a slightly smug grin flashing across her lips.

"Yes," Paduk laughed. "Yes I was."


End file.
